One Day at a Time...

I haven't divulged much of this nature in this forum, but my family and some friends know that this treatment is wearing on me. In the first set of chemo this spring, I was able to continue life in a pretty normal and positive manner. Now, fatigue and other side effects makes this much harder for me. I know it is just fatigue, and I should be thankful that the side effects are not as severe as other cancers, but I seem to find the fatigue especially difficult. In each round the fatigue will be greater and the recovery slower. BTW, when I say fatigue I mean 3+ days in bed, stumbling out to get food, and collapsing back in bed again.

I have no control of what my body is doing nor the end result of my treatment. The only thing I can control is my reaction and attitude, and in this I struggle. Yet "it is what it is"- I cannot change it and the treatment must and will continue.

So from where should I draw patience and perseverance? Foremost I believe that I must take to heart the phrase "One Day at a Time".

(in no particular order)

• Hold tight through the fatigue and DONT trust negative emotions during this time
• Know that the fatigue does lift and it will end when the chemo ends
• Ditto with almost all of the side effects, including nausea
• Resume active living whenever possible
• Lean on family & friends
• Pray for peace, acceptance, healing
• Recognize the great progress made and the continued healing
• Count down the sessions, and celebrate each milestone

Side Effects

One of the chemo drugs has a common side effect of losing sensation in your hands and feet (peripheral neuropathy). In the first round of 6 treatments I was fortunate and did not have any such side effects. After my liver surgery this changed and each chemo session brings a bit more neuropathy to my feet especially but also hands. It is to the level of annoyance not debilitating so that is good. We are trying some things to help including vitamin supplements, and OHSU suggested trying acupuncture, so we'll see how that goes.

Treatment #2

On Wed 9/14 I had the second infusion and per usual I go home with the pump and get small injections for 46 more hours.

After my first treatment two weeks ago, the fatigue hit sooner and much harder, presumably the cumulative effect of earlier chemo and because I'm not fully recovered from the surgery. The fatigue on Saturday and Sunday was absolutely crushing. I slept almost all of the time. This is hard when I want to spend time with my family and help around the house (sigh). To help with a sense of peace, I need to keep in mind that the only problem is that the highly effective treatment makes me tired - otherwise all is well. As my lovely Lulu reminds me, my job now is healing and recovery, and clearly my body needs this rest, so just give in and know that energy will return after the "down weekend".

Easier said than done as I find it difficult to stay positive when physically I am so down...the mind-body connection at work.